Time for a summer holiday Jihad story…
I wrote the article below a year ago and was reminded of it by today’s news, suggesting once more (yawn) that the terror alert has been raised to severe in the country. The current alert is in response to a four-month undercover investigation by Sky TV reporter Stuart Ramsey (I know).He has suggested that a young Muslim woman who was planted in ISIS ranks was asked to buy components for a bomb to target the royal family at forthcoming VJ commemorations. So far, not so much.
Maybe these ‘terrorists’ (ahem) are outraged at the Royals because in times of austerity they are living it large, buying an £18,000 playhouse for Prince George (Isn’t he cute, with those big ears and everything or is it as the late great Robin Williams suggested that “Someone in the royal family knew someone in the royal family”).
Perhaps these phantom jihadis have just been evicted from a house they were struggling to pay the mortgage on and had their eyes opened to the vicious inequality that stalks the British public like a ravenous fox, and were seeking a target for their ire. (Apologies to all foxes for that comparison, but I had three in my garden last week so they were in my mind).
Or maybe it’s all crap.
Sky’s Ramsey has also suggested that at least four British ISIS members are said to be at large with orders to conduct bombing or shooting attacks on their home ground. Now if Ramsey was privy to such information and if his investigation was based on more than hearsay, surely the British forces who deal with such things could have nipped this in the bud?
Finally Sky makes references to Jihadi chat rooms. Jihadi chat rooms? The very thought of these guys going online to organise their murderous campaign is actually quite funny. I imagine serious terrorists are a little more sophisticated than that. I can just imagine how the chat rooms might work for an eavesdropping reporter.
<Guest 1> “Salaam alaikum. Hey bro, you O.K?”
<Guest 2> “Salaam alaikum.Yeah man. How’s the beard getting on?”
<Guest 1> “Oh man. It was going great for the first month or two, but it has begun to look all hipster. Twice this week I have been asked if I worked at a cereal cafe!”
<Guest 2> “Ha ha. I had something similar. This guy was online before claiming to be a Muslim and he seemed to be most interested when I was taking about Fatima’s jilbab. I think he thought I was on about ‘jihad’! Ha Ha. Turns out he is some sort of reporter for Sky News, so naturally I told him a load of shit for a laugh.”
<Guest 1> “Madness brother! Anyway, I am back in the UK for VJ day. We are having a street party. We are going to have some Halal food, dance and party. We have got a ton of balloons here, fancy helping us blow them up?”
So call me a cynic (“You’re a cynic!”) but the report from Sky News seems to me to be another example of the right wing propaganda that Sky seems duty bound to spread for the masses to feed on, in order to make Joe Public hate those swarthy foreign types just a little bit more and at the same time endear them to the brutes running the country.
As with Theresa May below, Ramsey inserted a very important caveat into his sexy (sexed up) report and it is this;
“It’s impossible to know if any of this is true, of course. But we suspect much of it is.”
So it might all be bullshit then?
It appears all the other news outlets consider to be the case since none of them are reporting on it. Maybe after the expense of four months “undercover investigation” Ramsey felt he had to offer something to justify the financial outlay such an ‘investigation’ entails. He writes;
“Perhaps our most successful move was to buy up all the items needed to make a bomb and prove to (the supposed terrorist) that we had bought them and that day”.
Fuck me! Stuart Ramsey is the real terrorist threat. He has all the equipment to make a bomb! Let’s lynch him instead of the people he is entrapping. Anyone who goes on Twitter of all places and thinks he is talking to terrorists needs a lesson in how Twitter works. It is full of loons who mostly come out at night (especially on a full moon) pretending to be something they are not. A lot Twitter-speak is tongue in cheek, humorous and made to confuse poor saps like Ramsey.
So to conclude, before you read the similarly high level of ‘proof’ that the Government pummeled us with last year, I will be leaving my house today and I won’t be looking behind bushes and trees for a supposed Jihadi hell bent on destruction, because that it is what you do with a real threat. And this is not one.
As with last year’s ‘threat’, there is nothing to see here ladies and gentlemen.
Peace Out. X
P.S. If you want to be amused and entertained by the actions of a supposed Chief Reporter at Sky News, the whole, sorry piece is here.
UK TERROR ALERT RAISED TO SEVERE!
Never in my life have I laughed out so loud at a Government’s validation for something.
In raising the terror alert to severe, Theresa May explained that JTAC (Joint Terrorism Analysis Centre) make their “judgments about that threat level …ON THE BASIS OF THE VERY LATEST INTELLIGENCE and are independent of ministers” and that “JTAC has today raised the threat level to the UK from international terrorism from substantial to severe”.
She then said;
“That means that a terrorist attack is highly likely, BUT THERE IS NO INTELLIGENCE TO SUGGEST THAT AN ATTACK IS IMMINENT.”
Run that by me again kitten heels?
JTAC made the the judgement to raise the terror alert to ‘severe’ based on the latest intelligence…but there is no intelligence to suggest an attack is imminent?
Jeez. And people fall for this shit?
In further news, ISIS, having trans-morphed into I.S., are now ISIL…perhaps the Government thinks that if they keep changing the name of the threat we will get confused and think that anything with initials or four letter capitals is a threat. British people be wary of the imminent threat from ALDI and LIDL.
Finally, If ISIS/I.S./ISIL are such a threat (not forgetting they don’t have WMD because there weren’t any in Iraq or Syria, and they are likely to be available to a band of mercenary and evil fuckwits anyway, unless of course WE have put some there since) why aren’t we blowing them back to the stone age like we have with other phantom threats before they become too powerful?
Because they are not a threat to US at all maybe.
They are a nasty organisation no doubt; ruthless, murderous and imbued with something approaching blind fanaticism, but making them worthy of raising the terrorist level to ‘severe’ based on no intelligence whatsoever sounds like scare-mongering to me.
Reminds me of tanks stationed at Heathrow to contain the terrorist threat, coincidentally the day before the anti Iraq War march on February 15th 2003,
the 15th also being the day I flew out to Moscow from said airport with not a tank in sight…